The Beginning of My Addiction

 

     I'm well aware that I have been repeating a few points in previous blogs simply because I wanted them to really resonate. It is my hope that as I tell my stories, people will be able to see that they are not alone. No matter how "crazy" you think some of the things you have done while in your food addiction, I guarantee  I've probably done it also. Diet after diet.  Pills. Staples in my ears. No carbs; all carbs; no fat; only fat.  Surgery that nearly killed me.

 

True Story

     When the first signs of addiction began to surface in the early 70's, I was sure there was no one else out there like me. It wasn't the thing one talked about casually. "Hello, so nice to see all of you this evening. Thanks so much for inviting me..By the way, did you know I puked 6 times yesterday because I scarfed down over 6000 calories? Ooh, is that the buffet table over there?" Exit stage right.

     I was newly married and moved clear across the country. I was lonely and met a friend who struggled with her weight.  She asked if I would come with her to a weight loss group. I told her I would be glad to go with her.  We went and  paid our dues and then we were weighed. There was a lecture from the leader of the group who had reached their goal weight. Given a menu to follow, (6 fish meals? Liver?} we went on our way.  I bought cases of tuna.  This was the only way I was going to get 6 fish meals down. How did I ever get 6 oz. of tuna on 1 tiny slice of bread?  The liver I just flat lied about.

     After a couple of weeks I started doing the most bazaar thing. I began bringing a paper sack with me filled with junk food.  My thinking was after I weighed in I could so into a stall in the ladies room and rapidly consume the contents of said bag.  On my way back to the meeting, I wiped my mouth repeatedly making sure there were no tell tale signs.  My logic was that I had a whole week to make up for it. I'd never had these thoughts before. What was happening to me?
   
     This was the start of my insanity.  This was the beginning of years of hell.